Twas The Night Of Success, An Affiliate Marketing Poem
Due to an overwhelmingly positive response to my recent Twas the Night Before Xmas poem-spoof-thing-a-magig (and by this, I actually mean just one person — whom could barely speak English it turned out), I’ve decided to humbly and ever-so-kindly provide for you my Twas the Night Before Xmas poem-spoof-thing-a-magig from last year’s holiday season. Isn’t that just super, amazingly exciting? No?
Oh, well… let’s just pretend you said yes and jump headlong into the festively fiery sun that is the essence of any Twas the Night Before Christmas-related poem, shall we? Or wait, was that original poem a sonnet? No, no, those were those sing-songy type deals, weren’t they? Maybe it was a ballad or… Ah, right — sorry about that.
Will uh… someone cue that damn re-posted poem already?
Note: As already stated approximately 488 times, the following is a re-post (see also: straight copy-paste) of my Twas the Night Before Christmas spoof poem from last year. It’s the bomb dizzle fo shizzle.
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I suppose we could have called this a rap to make it sound less fairy-ish, but I digress. It’s a poem — albeit a very blatant rip-off of ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas”.
So there’s that…
And with that out of the way — without further ado, “Twas The Night Of Success”, an affiliate marketing poem.
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Twas the night before Monday and all through the home,
Many campaigns were still stirring, especially one codenamed, “Whiten Your Teeth With This Foam”.
All the stats were being tracked, via 202 with great care,
In the hopes that many-a-conversion soon would be there.
An aspiring affiliate marketer lay all snug in his bed,
While visions of a greater ROI danced in his head.
An incentive site dot com and a flog right on tap,
Would hopefully avoid the dreaded new campaign endeavors nap.
When out of the computer there arose such a clatter,
That he rose from his bed, not really sure what was the matter.
Over to the computer he stumbled with great haste,
Removing his screen saver, anxious for a taste.
The sound had come from the toolbar below,
But what it could be — what could its dinging bestow?
When, what to his anxious eyes did appear,
But a maximized stat window that completely allayed his fear.
Why, a little conversion had appeared so very lively and quick,
That he knew in a moment, it must be from his campaign, “Get Rock Hard Abs Like A Brick”.
More rapid than eagles, the conversions then came,
And he giggled and danced and shouted all his campaigns by name!
“Now Acai For Me! Now Brick Shithouse! Now Pearl White and Get Vixens!”
“On Beware 2012 Comets, on Be Your Own Cupid! On Ballroom Dancing, on Rap Mixin’!”
“To the top of the stat charts, to the top of the affiliate mall!”
“Convert away, convert away, convert away all!”
And then, in a twinkling, he truly knew it was true,
His hard-work paid off and he’d found true success — and so can you too!
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